A Non-Blog

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged anything, but before I start my day of work, I think I need to get this down on tumblr.

Where the heck are all the moms out there? The web designer or designer/developer moms? The ones earning income AND raising their kids? 

We know there aren’t many women in this field (about 16.2% are female http://aneventapart.com/alasurvey2008/#gen). But how many of those women are mothers? The women designers (web or otherwise) whose work I strongly admire (on dribbble.com for instance) aren’t mothers and I can count on one hand designer mothers that I follow on twitter. That’s five or less.

The reason I ask is because it seems impossible (for me) to be a great mother (of small children, let’s say) and a great designer. 

I suppose some of this is a bout of jealousy. I am jealous that designer/developer Dads go to work and design beautiful stuff all day and come home to cute, clean, fed children. I’m jealous of women who have 24 hours a day to themselves. To sleep, to design when, where, and how ever long they want to, to take time to become inspired, to become better at their work. To worry about every blasted pixel on the page. To make everything perfect, put everything in it’s place, with the exact right color, and the exact right text-shadow and the exact right drop shadow and the exact right css3 gradient on that extremely-important call-to-action button. 

See, I learned early on being a mother, that every blasted pixel does not matter. Home made cupcakes don’t matter. Home made halloween costumes don’t matter. Living up to your own expectations of motherhood is ridiculous and stressful, and makes you a terrible at being you.

Yet, when I’m working, I am trying to live up to the expectations of the great web designers out there. I struggle between pixel perfection and mother perfection, and hard as I try, I simply cannot be both. Or either. The ideas that “I don’t have to be a perfect mom” and “I have to design beautiful websites” are like oil and water. Because beautiful websites are perfect. And beautiful children aren’t perfect. What I’m left with is feeling extremely mediocre at my work - because being a mom trumps being a designer, every time. Dinner time, bath time, bed time all trump design and create time.  

So where are you ladies? Do you exist? Are you happy with your results as a designer and as a mother? Are your websites AND children perfect? Are you, too, jealous of childless designers and dads who have more time on their hands to create? 

Did you miss the business card exchange I hosted a while back? No worries! Mike Ouellette of Grumblebee Studio is hosting another!

Check his #bizx site for more info! 

Ok, here’s the thing. 

I (my company) has the opportunity to occupy a booth in the Center of Progress building at the New York State Fair this September for one day. That’s 12 hours - 10am to 10pm. The booth is supposed to be interactive. 

What to do? I need your input. You work in the web (or design) industry. We’re talking interactive and progress here. What would you do? What could I do? I have some ideas, but I need your help.

1) A 12 hour tweet up. Anyone from twitter, let’s tweet up. we’ll have coffee and be geeky. If we’re lucky, we’ll be near the NY State Wine booth. We won’t actually DO anything, just, you know… tweet up. 

2) A working tweet up. I’ll gather some talented peeps and we’ll get together, in the booth, and actually create something, live. Projected on a big screen. 

3) I will work for 12 hours straight, projected on a big screen. I’ll have a “guess how many cups of coffee this geek has consumed?” contest.

3) If I can find a iPhone developer, we could create an iPhone app, live, in 12 hours. (interactive, and progress!)

4) I could just sit and do free consultations for 12 hours. 

What would you do? Do you live in NY state? Wanna come to The Fair?  

Simple as that. 

Since people asked how I keep my inbox so shiny and clean, there is my answer. 

Many of my best ideas start with, “What if…”. Two and a half year ago, the question, “What if someone wanted to pay me to build them a website?” led me to become a web designer and entrepreneur. There are so many What Ifs in life. Some are looking back, and can be counter-productive. But the What Ifs that look to the future, that look ahead even without seeing a clear picture, are what makes success stories. They are my fuel. They keep my synapses firing. 

Consider this quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions.  All life is an experiment.  The more experiments you make the better.  What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat soiled or torn?  What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice.  Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.” 

It’s so true, and so relevant.